Dear Jeb Bush,
We thank you for your interest in our Grand Old Party.
While we appreciate the opportunity to consider you for a position as a candidate on our team, we have reviewed your background and experience and have decided to proceed with other candidates who meet our needs more closely at this time.
In truth, on the surface, your qualifications are impressive, and it is usually our position to readily accept whichever so-called moderate Republican candidate is shoved at us by the Establishment, however we cannot allow that to stand this time. Our decision to endorse a candidate must be based upon the urgent need to change the liberal trajectory of destruction our nation has been on over the past several decades. It must also be informed by the lessons learned from the past endorsements of so-called moderate Republicans and their failed campaigns.
This is an extremely competitive process and we hope to chose a candidate with more deeply held conservative principles and experience than your application indicates. You may be tempted to ask yourself what is lacking in your application. In the spirit of helping you understand our position, here are a few of the areas of weakness we noticed you have:
- Big Spender—While governor of Florida, you increased government spending by 57%. We absolutely cannot afford another big spender in the White House and we strongly believe fiscal responsibility and reducing the debt is imperative.
- Common Core—You created, promoted, and have stood by these reforms in education. We know Common Core is hurting our kids’ education and futures and we believe school choice and school vouchers are more in line with our principles.
- Amnesty–You say illegal immigrants come to this country “as an act of love.” We say illegal immigration is against the law and amnesty is extremely detrimental to our sovereignty, our national security, and the American worker.
- Millionaire—Your net-worth is in the millions. Do we really need another millionaire in the White House–especially one who profited from Obamacare? Probably not.
- Offshore Drilling—You oppose it for reasons we can only guess at. We understand it is an integral piece of the puzzle that will lead to our country’s energy independence.
- Name Recognition–The very idea of having one family create a ruling dynasty goes against everything the Founders believed. We find the idea that we should endorse you simply because it is “your turn” as a Bush family member quite unpalatable. Frankly, your father and brother did not wholly represent our conservative principles and the Bush name recognition may end up being a liability not an asset.
This was definitely a tough decision for us, as you were a solid candidate. We appreciate the time you spent considering our Grand Old Party. We will keep your application on file in the circular bin right beside our desk.
On behalf of the Grand Old Party, we wish you the best in your future endeavors!
Sincerely,
The Grand Old Party and every Republican voter who actually wants to win in 2016
Photo credit: DonkeyHotey
